Tuesday, July 31, 2007

no goal for me

For a few days, I have been thinking about something I read in "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. It is the idea that God has no goal for my life that He is working to bring me toward. What??? No goal? But Jeremiah tells me that He has plans for me - plans for good and not evil. If God has no Great Goal where my life will eventually end up, then what? How is He a force in my life? What about those plans? Oh, God has plans for me, but they are not "achievable" the way a goal is. I will not, one day, realize, "I've arrived! This is it." No, God's dealings in my life are much more intimate than a goal. He "walks on the chaos of my life," as Oswald Chambers put it. His plans for me involve right now, not just a distant future. Somehow, I find this very comforting. I don't need to panic that I have not reached a goal. I can find peace and joy in the chaos that is my life as I watch God "walking right on top." And I can walk on it too - I can step out of the boat, like Peter, and walk right on top, keeping my eyes on the One who knows more about me and my life than I do! Oh, it is not the goal that God is interested in, but the process. And He is teaching me right here in the middle of full vaccuum bags, trips to the library, and cereal crumbs - teaching me to view the world in new ways, about myself and the possibility of change, and about His definition of success. This is why I am here. This is my purpose; to learn, to grow, to love.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

love's sweet repose

"But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might show the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:4-9
I am thankful that my place in heavenly places, together with Christ Jesus, is not dependant on me. I battle within myself. I do what I don't want to do, I don't do what I want to do. I can not merit the place in heaven that Christ gives. But his grace and kindness to me makes me want to do those things that will bring Glory to Him!! I am shown something greater than self - and pleasing self. The love wherewith he loved me is pure and true and unconditional. It gives me a glimpse of that true love, devoid of self, that is worth striving for. The love that gives and doesn't take. The love that builds up, purifies, and refreshes the recipient. It is the opposite of lust - the currency of this world - because there is no self in it. It requires nothing and gives inspiration, hope and beauty. When we experience true love, we will never trade it for lust. Lust is not even a predecessor to love. It is filled with self and need and greed. It deceives by acting like it will give and fulfill, but it leaves only emptiness and sorrow. Love gives at a cost to the giver and with no cost or requirement to the receiver.
"Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour." Ephesians 5:1-2