Monday, January 23, 2017

Will The Real God Please Stand Up

I’m so tired of holding it all together, God
Of this charade
This pretending I’ve got it made
But this God-card that’s being played isn’t You

I’m so tired of binding up my own wounds
Bandages trailing, blood dripping, smile slipping
I convince myself that You’ve healed me
That this hurt hasn’t reeled me back on my heels
That I’m not limping and wincing and crumbling to the ground

I’m so tired of trying to BE YOU, God
Of creating my own miracles
And bringing grace to my own days
I’m tired of the burden of doing Your work
Telling others You’ve got my back
Telling myself I feel no lack, all the while picking up the slack

I’m so tired of making You into who I think You should be
With smoke and mirrors so that no one will see
The entire facade is really me

But I know You’re so much more than I’ve allowed You to be
So this is me
Admitting my need
A new creed
My soul will be freed, and my wounds will bleed and bleed
Until You show up - in truth

I’m done pretending it’s all ok
I’m done with this “Christian” way
I’ll stay broken until You heal me


1 comment:

Fineast said...

Hey Joanne this is awesome, sometimes i feel im putting myself back together.....and wow those are the most failing moments. I need the origin of truth, the word, the sword, the spirit of God to carry me until i know how to walk beside him all the way. God bless your friend Dave M