Learning about myself.

This work stuff is harder than I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong; I love working with Colin. And, most of the time, I really enjoy the people I work with. Last night, however, I had an employee walk out (stomp out?) during his shift, saying it was because of me! me?! Now, we've seen this coming since I started as assistant manager, because it was the position he wanted, and he never thought I should have been made assistant from the beginning. He constantly tried to find things I was doing wrong and pull them up to me in front of everyone. But, I had a pretty high estimation of how I was handling it all. In my mind, I was the poster girl for a kind, sweet, reasonable boss. But with all that has happened recently, and with a little prompting from my loving, but objective husband, I am considering that I wasn't always as reasonable as I thought. One thing I have always detested is when people are condescending. And yet, in retrospect, when I felt it was justified, that is exactly how I was. I didn't ever see myself as being "the tough one." But working with Colin is making that pretty obvious to me. I guess I have this view that "these are the rules, they make sense and are reasonable, so if you go against them, you are being defiant". Even my first memo, I am told, was much "harder" than any of Colin's. I was ok with that, because I think sometimes he is a bit wishywashy. I know it takes both personalities and we compliment each other, but I am surprised at myself. I am surprised that I am sometimes unreasonable. I appreciate Colin for pointing out that, although I was justified, I wasn't completely reasonable. And I was that way because I was feeling a bit out of my element in having to deal with an employee acting like a 3 year old. I totally wasn't compassionate. Ok, I'm not sure if any of this actually makes sense, but I just needed to get it out in words. And after doing so, I feel like I have some direction. After all, if compassion is what I need, there is only One who can give it. Jesus. And He does not give it in a condescending way or a repremanding one, He will just give it. I need to immerse myself in Him, to cover myself with His words and learn from His perfection. Yet another example of how Jesus is the answer to alllllll my problems.