i am sure

God is good.
He cannot be otherwise.
His goodness does not depend on me.
I cannot merit His goodness.
He will give me His best for me simply because I am His child. (also His doing)
When all human logic points otherwise, still He is good.
I cannot obtain better than God's goodness for me.
When I search out other means of getting goodness for myself,
I call Him a liar.
He will never, never forget me or leave me in distress without it being for my good.
He is the Almighty God.
Satan whispers in my ear, "Why should He remember you? You have done no great thing for Him."
I have not. But He has done great things for me.
Even when I cannot understand His timing, He is perfect.

"I will offer you a sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the LORD." Psalm 116:17

relevant truth

The Christian-radio preacher summed up his message: "No doubt there are many out there thinking, 'I'd love to come to Jesus, but you don't know what I've done.' Well, God does, and there is no sin too big for Him to forgive" He went on expounding on the love of God. Wouldn't that be easy....if the world really were thinking such things? Maybe these evangelists pretend this is an actual issue because it's one that's so easily dealt with.

No, what the majority of people are wondering is: "How is God or sin or morality or Jesus even relevant to me?" How indeed, in this age of truth - truth that is no more than an opinion which each person must form on his own. Why should I rely on something so ancient as morality? I must cultivate my own virtue by following my heart and mind. No one else can tell me what is right for me. This train of thought, although disguised as new, has been around for a very, very long time. It was being written about in the early 1700's. Interestingly, each generation thinks they have found new ideas that give freedom. There are no modern ideas - just old ones in new packaging. The poison of this attack on truth is slow but deadly. It creates a lack of revelancy for truth, goodness, and love.

God doesn't re-package His truths in shiny, new paper. He makes no apologies for His laws. Goodness and wisdom will always grow best in the soil of obedience to God - obedience to the truths revealed in the Bible.

It isn't that there is no room for proclaiming God's love - there is no greater proclamation. However, we must sometimes begin further back. The relevancy of God. The immutibility of truth. The limitations of humanity.

"Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God, God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe."
"Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men."
1Corinthians 1:20,21,25

excitement at esl

I had such a fun night at esl tonight. Unfortunately, there was one scary(at the time, but funny now) moment. We were sitting discussing our vocabulary words - always a long task with any Spanish-speakers in the class - and Yeoung Jeoung (sp?) casually mentions, "Oh, there's a rat." It was so casual, that I didn't believe him. But as he continued to look past me into the kitchen (to which our classroom is linked with a doorway, with no door), I jumped up squealing, tore open the door, and ran out into the main room where David's class was being held. They all looked at me (mildly, I thought), as I jumped up on a table, still squealing about the mouse. I was the ONLY one who was the least bit scared. Yeoung Jeoung and Christopher were truly surprised that I insisted we move to the next classroom which had a door. I had a good opportunity to explain the word, "phobia." I'm still surprised about the lack of mass-panic. But Christopher explained that one of the most common dishes in Columbia is guinea pig. yummy.

conversation with laurie and eva

Laurie and Eva are sitting at the table, playing play-doh, and discussing computer games and websites.
Laurie - "Eva, have you ever been on Starfall?"
Eva - "What IS Starfall?"
Laurie - "I guess that's a no."

I think Laurie's been spending too much time with Ashlin.

Later,

Eva, after spotting my cool salt&pepper shakers on the back of my stove - "Hey, my mom has the same salt&peppers."
Me - "Yeah, Aunt Janelley brought them to us when she came back from Zambia."
Eva - "Zambia!? Where's Zambia?"
Laurie, incredulous - "You don't know??! It's in India!"
Me - "Africa."
Laurie - "Oh, yeah. Africa, Africa."
Eva - "Why does Aunt Janelley always go to Africa?"

being a mom....losing my mind

Ok, I'm feeling like a total failure as a mom today. Ashlin (10) has transformed into the haughty-est of preteens. Usually, she is funny and quirky with only hints of "I'm-better-than-the-universe"ish-ness. But this morning....ahhhh, this morning. I've had 10 years to prepare for this, so how is it possible that I have NO idea how to react? My best reaction?...the BEST thing I could come up with?....the I-can-be-angrier-than-you attack. Fail. I recomposed myself and tried a better strategy. A hug with "I don't understand, but I love you." Seemed to work, but then...NO! I got the "I don't know why I don't just run away!" And I still have no idea what prompted these outbursts. They were all over little nothings - Laurie looked at her the wrong way. Ok, patience is totally not my strong point. And I'll admit I tend to use anger as a reset button when things are escalating with the kids. But how can you even reason with someone who is completely set on being contrary and irritable and, in short, holding the entire family hostage?? (No, I'm not refering to Colin, hee hee, although Ashlin IS a mini-Colin) Hey, maybe that's a key....How do I "manage" Colin? can I use the same tactics? No, seriously, I think this is not a time for tactics, but for me to learn and develop patience and incredibly humble honesty. You can parent young children while letting your own flaws slide, but when they get old enough to see through all that, you really just need to be honest with them and yourself. I am not perfect. I am not the commander-supreme anymore. It's a sad day. :) I can expect to be called on every inconsistancy in my life for the next (how long till Laurie's 20?) 14 years?? Ahhhhhh. Somebody help.

sing

O Creator,
thank You for making
my lifesong sing to You
even when i feel
out of tune.
tune me to Your ear
and make my lifesong
SING.

o love that will not let me go
i rest my weary soul in thee
i give thee back the life i owe
that in thine ocean's depths its flow
may richer, fuller be

o joy that seekest me through pain
i cannot close my heart to thee
i trace the rainbow through the rain
and feel the promise is not vain
that morn shall tearless be