Saturday, January 17, 2009

let me be a plant

For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease. Though the root thereof wax old in the earth, and the stock thereof die in the ground; Yet through the scent of water it will bud, and bring forth boughs like a plant. Job 14: 7-9

I was struck with this small passage, not in the way Job intended as he wrote it, but with the idea of new life. If the tree of my life needs to be cut down - if it is rotton with sin or diseased with self, then let me be a plant to the glory of God. I feel that this is a promise from God. I may need to be cut down, and the result may look like nothing but a stump - I may be a fool! But beneath that stump will grow a bud, that will bring forth boughs like a plant. And, oh, to be a plant for God is greater than to be a tree, full of sin and self!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

a new year

A new year, like a fresh clean page without any writing on it, always causes me to pause and take inventory of myself. Usually, I find I have allowed my mind, my habits and thoughts to become scattered. Living is messy. My house is proof of that. If I neglect my front entryway for even one day, it becomes a pile of coats, boots, hats and mittens; and the endless piles of "stuff," that seem to appear out of no where, take over. Mentally, I need to dust and organize regularly, too. And if I leave it too long, it becomes a gigantic mess that requires a few days to untangle. That's where I am now. I constantly find myself saying, "Where did this come from?" or "What should I do with this?" Re-evaluating takes alot of energy. My usual response to things that take too much energy is procrastination, which never helps! So, I'm trying to dive in and start by sorting through all of the clutter in my "house." I need to start with the basics, and answer some tough questions. "What is really important to me?" , "What have I allowed others to tell me is important, that isn't?" , "Who am I?, and Who do I want to be?" , "Who am I trying to please?"...the list is long. As I begin to sift, I find the answers are not easy. Sometimes, the answers aren't what I thought they would be, and so I realize I have been living "someone else's life," and holding myself to someone else's standards. These questions are intimate - between me and God. Only He can help me sort this mess! O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up. You understand my thoughts afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. There is not a word on my tongue, but O Lord, You know it altogether. You have beset me behind and before, and have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me..... Psalm 139