Will The Real God Please Stand Up

I’m so tired of holding it all together, God

Of this charade

This pretending I’ve got it made

But this God-card that’s being played isn’t You

I’m so tired of binding up my own wounds

Bandages trailing, blood dripping, smile slipping

I convince myself that You’ve healed me

That this hurt hasn’t reeled me back on my heels

That I’m not limping and wincing and crumbling to the ground

I’m so tired of trying to BE YOU, God

Of creating my own miracles

And bringing grace to my own days

I’m tired of the burden of doing Your work

Telling others You’ve got my back

Telling myself I feel no lack, all the while picking up the slack

I’m so tired of making You into who I think You should be

With smoke and mirrors so that no one will see

The entire facade is really me

But I know You’re so much more than I’ve allowed You to be

So this is me

Admitting my need

A new creed

My soul will be freed, and my wounds will bleed and bleed

Until You show up - in truth

I’m done pretending it’s all ok

I’m done with this “Christian” way

I’ll stay broken until You heal me

Amen