So often, when we think of living "Spirit-filled lives," we think of praying, reading the Bible, singing worship songs, proclaiming Christ.... all noble pursuits, but not the whole. We are humans, earthy. We were created to live here, on this earth. Yes, we were created by Someone greater and we were created for a relationship with Him. That relationship can/will be worked out here - doing earthy, everyday things. When I walk my children to school, I am part of this great creation. When I am doing laundry, I am no less than when I am on my knees before the "throne of heaven." My life is not summed up in the moments of great inspiration or fabulous communication with God. He is vast and His communication can be Magnificent, but everyday life is where He is most solid and real to me. When I am most overwhelmed and I turn to Him for strength, the strength He gives is solid; tangible. I am not wonderful or great or even fair - though I aspire to be. I love that I can aspire to be these things, and I know that I will always be learning them. I need, not to be, but to become. The moment I think I have "arrived," I become useless, I lose the "earthy" and the real. It is truly in the everyday that I learn God, and communicate Him. He is Love, Light, and Truth. He is the opposite of sin. Learning Him is tangible and must be, even though it is also spiritual.
Oh, I had a whole day off yesterday - my first, other than Sundays, in months. It gave me the strength to decide to make changes to my current situation - changes I have been resisting without realizing it for weeks and weeks. I have tried to be real about my situation before God, and felt He was directing me - which He was and is, but I was holding a part back - part that I was unwilling to give up. Of course I didn't realize this, and God so gently showed me by giving me a glimpse of all that I am missing. He didn't rip that part I was holding so tightly out of my hands, but caused me to be willing to release my hold on it. This is my favorite thing about my relationship with God: He will not leave me to fool myself. He always brings me to the place of being honest with myself and before Him. And it is always in such a gentle way. But firm. He is the perfect "parent" and I would do well to model my parenting after the One who created families. I am grateful that I can rely on Him to keep me real; to bring me to the place where I can see the flaw that is causing pain/greif. I am relying on Him for this for the future and I know it will happen many times over, but it is a great comfort to know I will not be left to my own "understanding," but will gently be led to greater understanding.
Ok, this is very rambly and I am tempted to delete the whole thing, but that's what blogging is for (at least for me) - to work out in words those thoughts that are floating around in my head without anchor. It is always helpful to me, anyway.
2 comments:
thanks for writing this, joeyanne. i love the way you think and write. i love how it's so real and wonderful--and so you.
One of the reasons that make me the most sure of God's presence and his communication with me is his ability to show me what I don't want to see. Because I have chosen Him, he can give me what brings me pain, what I could never choose for myself. And through those things, he sets me free.
As any girl who has tried waxing her own legs knows, it is almost impossible to choose your own pain. The hand hesitates when the mind has firmly decided that it is time to tear mercilessly.
But God will choose the pain that is good for us if we will only choose him. Because of his gentle way of bringing me to himself through pain, I have come to have a kind of strange affection for difficulty. Like Pavlov's dogs, I hear its ringing and I am hungry for what will come after.
JoJo, thanks for your commitment to Truth. I have learned much from you. You are my little sister in this world. But I will sit at your feet in the next one.
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