filling the void

I've been thinking all day about the verse, "I reckon our sufferings are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Romans 8:18. No one but me could ever consider my "sufferings" to be sufferings. And maybe that is the frustrating part. We all long to be understood, known. And God knows that we long for this, because He made us for it. He "wired" us to long for intimacy, to have another care and understand our hurts and our triumphs. But it is a place only He can fill. God created in each of us a void that can never be filled with another human being, or even whole groups of people. We try and try to fit something in there, but it is never enough. And we blame whatever it is that doesn't fit. The problem is that nothing and no one will ever fill that void because it was created to only be filled by God. And as I write this, I am convicted in my soul, "You write like you have this all figured out. But you don't." Oh, I don't. I am like Paul when he writes in Romans about not doing what he knows he should do,and doing those things he hates. I know these things in my head, but so often, I try to fill that void with people or things or ideas. I expected my poor husband to fill it when we were first married, and was frustrated with him when it didn't work. Oh, God didn't put that longing there just to make me unhappy. He knew that without it I would never search for Him. I am just too complacent. And I fill up my life with so many things, so much "doing." God wants me to turn to Him for fulfillment, for joy, for closeness. He never said this would be easy. It is very difficult to turn away from all of the physical things that catch my attention and make time to access the Spiritual. It is much easier to just become distracted by things that won't require anything from me -- things that promise "no effort required on your part, no commitment, no accountability." God doesn't promise these things. In fact He promises just the opposite - but He promises it will be worth it. And He never breaks His promises. A relationship with God is not some easy, happy, "dollarstore", thing. It is valuable. It costs. But, it is worth the cost. It is worth the struggle. The rewards are amazing now and immeasurable for eternity.